Planned Spontaneity

One aspect of the hysterectomy recovery that I was not anticipating…or maybe I was choosing to ignore the inevitability of…was the battle with weight management. I recognize that an ideal or comfortable size for each person is subjective to the individual so my large might not be your large. But, in the past few months I’ve noticed that I had approached my large and then surpassed it like an Olympian sprinter on their final stretch. I’m the biggest I’ve ever been. Not only am I increasingly disappointed in how I look but I’m feeling sluggish, exhausted, irritable, and just completely over it. Over the past few weeks, I’ve started tracking my macros, cutting my sugars/carbs, increasing my protein, started running again, and adding in more strength training. Yet, the numbers on the scale and tape measure get higher and I feel as funky as ever. Everything my doctors and the internet tell me is that this is normal and it will just take time. Because of course it will.

As much as I hate to admit it, my physical appearance affects my mental health significantly and when I don’t look like I feel I should, the self talk gets really, really mean. It doesn’t matter how supportive and encouraging those around me are when I can negate all of it internally. So when I sat down in my friend Tina’s salon chair last week and she asked the simple question “What would you like to do with your hair today?”, I’m not sure either of us expected my emotional response.

I needed a change. I needed my outward appearance to match my personality. I needed to distract myself from other aspects of my physical appearance that were hard to accept. I needed something fun that sparked joy when I looked in the mirror. Plus, I needed it to be very little effort to maintain as my energy levels have plummeted. Tina listened, gave options, and by the end of the conversation we both agreed that a funky cut wouldn’t be enough. I needed to be a little bolder. So, like any reasonable person…I planned my spontaneity a week in advance.

For reference, this is what I looked like beforehand. Regular ol’ brown hair that hasn’t seen bleach since before I was pregnant with Lily 13 years ago!

To begin, Tina started with some chunky bleach highlights. I felt like I had traveled back in time to the 90s! After a power drying session, that was downright delightful, she slapped on the color(s)!

The second she started drying and styling I knew this was going to be fun. It’s bold. It’s different. It’s a fabulous distraction. It’s not for everyone…but neither am I.

The biggest of big shout outs to my friend Tina at Verde Beauty. I’m so thankful for her professionalism, obviously, but even more thankful for her friendship, honesty, encouragement, and down for whatever attitude! Thanks for welcoming me into the Green Hair Club! Let’s have some fun!