A Love Letter To My Gyno

Before you get too far into this post, let me warn you. If you don’t like knowing that women have periods, this might not be the post for you. 😉 It is beyond mind blowing to me how little women discuss their periods…with our families, friends, or even our doctors. Though this monthly visitor is a pretty major part of our lives, the topic remains quite taboo. However, it has become so obvious to me lately how ridiculous that is because as I’ve gotten more open about my experiences, it’s become clear…I am not alone. I am not alone is my pain, fear, confusion, frustration, or lack of being taken seriously. My experiences are not unique…which is why I’ve chosen to share.

Prior to having children, I had a very uneventful and reliable period. There were no surprises and I knew exactly what to expect month after month. However, fairly soon after my second baby arrived, that all changed and I knew something wasn’t quite right. My periods became longer, heavier, and significantly more painful. When I brought this up to my doctor, I was assured this was just my body adjusting after two pregnancies and not to stress. With the super helpful marching orders of “just don’t stress about it”, I spent the next few years trying to manage unpredictability. Spoiler alert, I did stress about it.

Eventually, I felt it was time for a new doctor. Not because of anything this particular doctor had done but because I wanted someone who focused solely on well women. During the first visit with a new doctor, I once again expressed my concerns about my entire life revolving around my periods. Without any follow-up questions, this new doctor told me it was just what happened to women of my age. (Rude.) The options laid out for me were various methods of birth control. I had never really heard anyone with a positive experience with the IUDs so I gave the pills another shot. After three months of continued heavy, long, and painful periods now mixed with a solid depressive episode, I scheduled another appointment with this new doctor. I told her this wasn’t working for me and I really needed some relief. Through desperation, I asked if an elective hysterectomy was an option. Immediately and without any hesitation, I was told no, it was not an option due to my age…as I might change my mind and want more children. The irony was not lost on me that the same doctor that would label a pregnancy at my age “geriatric” was now removing a medical option from me because as a women in my late 30s, I might change my mind. Classic.

After two doctors told me that everything I was experiencing was “normal”, I gave up. I decided to give other options a try. I tried vitamins, supplements, and cycle syncing workouts and meals. All of these things gave me a false sense of control over an increasingly uncontrollable life. My periods were now around two weeks long with symptoms creeping up before and lasting well after…giving me roughly one good week a month. I was calling in sick to work anywhere from 2-3 times a month because the cramps were so bad I couldn’t get out of bed. It became common practice for me to pack an elaborate emergency kit in my purse with extra clothes because I knew it was inevitable that I would bleed through all my protection. I knew something wasn’t right and this was no way to live but I felt powerless.

Fast forward to this past Fall, when something truly odd “just” happened. I just happened to get really sick with an infection in my colon that just happened to required a CT scan of my abdomen. While the scan was focused primarily on my digestive functions, they just happened to catch a glimpse of what appeared to be ovarian cysts. A new female doctor my age, focusing solely on well women, just happened to have arrived at my clinic that same month and she just happened to have an opening.

Within seconds of my first appointment with Dr. Emily Bienvenu at Baton Rouge Clinic, I knew this was going to be a very different experience. She not only listened to me but encouraged me to share more. She immediately validated my experiences and presented a very comprehensive investigation and treatment plan. It took everything in me not to hug her and burst into appreciative tears on the spot! Within the month, I had blood tests, ultrasounds, biopsies, and eventually, an official name for my ailments. My pain was not my body adjusting to post-pregnancy. The changes in my cycle were not just part of getting older. This wasn’t all in my head and I wasn’t just a ninny.

It was endometriosis.

Though a completely common ailment women suffer in silence through every day, I was given options without judgement. After several conversations with a medical team that included Dr. Bienvenu and Dr. Bourgeois, another female doctor around my age, the decision was made and I felt nothing but support. In just under a week, I’ll have a hysterectomy. Yes, I’m young-ish and healthy-ish but I’m done with my life revolving around an unpredictable cycle of pain and embarrassment.

The plan is to have a partial hysterectomy, if my ovaries are viable for preserving after all of the cysts are also removed. If not, I’ll have a full hysterectomy and surgical menopause will begin as soon as I wake up. I’ve been attempting to prepare for this day for the past few months by increasing deep core exercises, increasing my water intake, walking/cycling more, and cleaning up my diet a smidge. (Which I completely threw out the window yesterday by drinking all of the seltzers, but I digress.) My family is prepped for the multiple weeks of anticipated recovery. My co-workers are literally the best and have offered more support than I thought possible in a remote working environment. I have a brand new cross stitch pattern and a list of all the shows I’ll need to binge as I rest. And, after I deep rage clean my house over the next few days, my environment will be prepped as well. I’m as prepared as one can be for a surgery like this. After a very thorough pre-op today, I feel even more confident in the medical team and our decision to move forward. They handled every test and alllllll my questions with such patience and care.

My whole point of sharing my experiences is to encourage others to do as I say, not as I did. If something doesn’t feel right, do not hesitate to advocate for yourself. If you don’t feel heard, it’s ok to find another doctor that will truly listen. Do not try to power through or suffer in silence because you’ve been led to believe this is just part of being a woman of a certain age. It’s not normal to have only one good week a month. It’s not selfish to want to make a change. It’s ok.

I have no idea what life will look like post-surgery…but I’m excited to find out!

If you have any tips or tricks to ease recovery from this type of surgery, I’m all ears! Please reach out and let me know your experiences!